Happy Birthday- You have cancer!

March 18, 2016



Two days of worrying, wondering, and feeling the lump. No one knew I was expecting a phone call. I had my volume turned up high the entire day and was constantly checking to see if I had a missed call. It was nearing the end of the business day so I assumed that it wouldn’t be until Monday to hear about my results. I was at the gym, working out with two of my good friends Steph and Brit, we call ourselves the “She Squad,“ I’m not sure if we do more working out or gossiping when were together- either way  it’s always a good time well spent.  Then I felt my phone vibrating, when I looked down and noticed the 888 number, I contemplated even answering the phone for fear of what they had to say. Here I had been waiting all day for the call to come through and now I didn’t want to answer it.



'She Squad' moments before I got the results.



The phone call only lasted a couple minutes: enough for the lady to say that my results of my biopsy came back positive and rattled off the cancer I had and when my next appointment was. I remember only letting a few tears out before trying to find a piece of paper to write my appointment down. They didn’t ask if I was alone or if it was a good time (but then again- when is it ever a good time to be told you have cancer) they just gave me news that has changed my life for forever and hung up the phone. Yes, I was diagnosed with the second leading cause of death the day before I turned 23. The first two people who knew about my life altering news was Steph and Brit, and they did an amazing job at sidetracking me long enough to finish our work out and get me on my way home.

Birthday lunch with Mom the day after diagnosis.

Nothing. There is absolutely nothing in this world that you can do to prepare yourself to hear the words you have cancer. In fact, when you’re a single recent college graduate you think you have the world in the palm of your hands- you can do anything, well anything within your credit card limit I suppose. It’s like you’re watching TV and the power goes off, you’re sitting alone in the dark with your own thoughts-and that can be the scariest thing imaginable. Even though I was diagnosed; the reality of it all, had not ‘hit me’ yet. I was so naive about how truly life changing this experience was going to be.

So, what type of cancer do I have? I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC), approximately 1.3CM, Estrogen Receptor (ER) 91%, Progesterone Receptor (PgR) 87% and HER2+. That’s a mouth full, right? IDC is the most common type of breast cancer diagnosis, including men. IDC means that the cancer started in my milk ducts and had started to spread to the surrounding breast tissue. Over time, invasive ductal carcinoma can spread to the lymph nodes and possibly to other areas of the body. Thankfully, to a later MRI, I had no lymph node involvement.  I’m also triple positive (ER/PR/HER2), meaning my cancer is also fueled by the hormones estrogen and progesterone and a growth-promoting protein called HER2/neu. IDC is only 1 of the 14 types of breast cancer.

Read More about IDC: http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/idc

Read More about the different types of breast cancer: http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types.

So, who do you tell and when? Whoever and whenever is the answer to that. I told my parents. I told my siblings over the phone that weekend.  I told my bosses the following Monday that were super supportive and have been throughout my entire treatment. I told my closest friends and family through a mass message because I personally did not want to tell twenty different people that I have cancer twenty different times. You aren’t mandated to tell anyone, although, if you have been recently diagnosed I hope that you have an amazing support system to turn to—USE THEM! When I was first diagnosed I didn’t really want people to know, they were going it figure out sooner or later by themselves anyways. Also, for those who have been recently diagnosed, the first couple of months are the hardest dealing with people- that’s the one and only downfall of having an amazing support system and a group of people that care so much about you! It was amazing to know that so many people cared about me and wanted to know how I was doing and if I needed anything, but updating everyone can be overwhelming- it will seem like your phone is constantly going off, but that’s only temporary. Once the initial shock of you being diagnosed wears off, it calms down.

 

Just remember that this only temporary. Your life has just been flipped upside down. You have lots of questions, and not knowing the answers is scary. Not knowing what is going to happen next is even scarier. Cancer just came in like a tornado on your life ransacking all the future plans you had. No, it’s not fair. However, I do know that your life is not over. This will be the toughest year of your life without a doubt, but it’s only one year. One miserable, frustrating, challenging, annoying, depressing, sick year out of a magnificent and beautiful life that is ahead of you once you kick cancers' ass.