Love Story

In the mix of being forced to make some of the hardest decisions of my life, one of the best things in my life happened. I think it’s time to bring some joy to my blog. April 8, is probably one of the best days of this entire year, and in fact it will be one of the best days of my entire life, no questions asked. In honor of Veteran’s Day, and in chronological order of my hectic life, was the post-deployment ball. Matthew tells the story so much better than I do, but, I will try my best.

Matt has been one of my best friends and biggest supporters since we first were connected three years ago. You see, it all started with a simple Facebook message while he was stationed in Germany; wishing him a Merry Christmas and thanking him for his service. Throughout the following year we messaged randomly catching each other up on our lives. I actually tried to send him a letter during the summer of 2014 to which he claims the mailman never delivered. It wasn’t until a year after my first message to him was when we would first officially meet at the Elmira-Corning Regional Airport. He hadn’t slept in days, hadn’t had a solid meal since he left Germany, all those things would have made me miserable, not him though. He was instantly cracking jokes and a smile never left his face. I enjoyed dinner with him and his family at Applebees, I drove home that night with sore cheekbones from all the laughter, and in that moment I realized how important of a person Matt was going to be in my life.   A week came and went and I found myself back at the airport afraid I had missed his flight, afraid that I didn’t get to say goodbye, and afraid of when I was going to see him again. I ran around the airport tears in my eyes, searching for the man in the camo hat, and when I finally found him a huge relief came across me, I got to wish him off to Germany. We continued to message and skype, and because of the time difference I was staying up well into the night to get to know him better.

However, it wouldn’t be until late October of 2015 when I would see him again. I got to spend two days with Matthew before he would deploy to Afghanistan. Deployment was challenging. I went days without hearing from him, a man I was so accustomed to talking to every single day, all day. I prayed so hard for his safe return, and in those prayers I came to realization that I couldn’t just be friends with Matt anymore, for I had fallen completely and head over heels in love with him. It wasn’t until the tail end of his deployment during another choppy skype call that he asked me to go on a date with him upon his return. Matt was one of the first people I told about my cancer diagnosis, it was only days after his return home, and I think he was in as much shock as I was; however, he assured me that everything was going to be okay.

Fast forward a few weeks to where he asked me to be his date to the post-deployment ball. I have never been more honored to be attached to someone’s hip than Matthews. In fact I have never been more proud of a person than I am him, his work ethic, his dedication, his drive, his sense of humor, the sacrifices he’s made, all of which are qualities that I admired about him.  In a conversation over dinner, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and of course, I couldn’t turn that awesome offer down.

You may be asking what the point of telling our ‘love story’ has to do with my cancer journey. Matthew had every reason to run away and turn his back on me but instead he pursued me and wanted to be by my side through it all. He was committed, he was all in.  *Cue tears now* I was going to become really sick, and no one knew the extent of how sick I was going to be. He knew that I was facing a monster that was set out to destroy me; that I was going to lose my hair, gain weight, get sick, receive scars, have possible infertility issues, and change my physique permanently. If that isn’t unconditional love, I don’t know what is. We built the foundation of our relationship, we built something on what tears other couples apart (3% divorce rate for active duty members in 2014, and 21% divorce rate for woman with a serious illness). He assured me that this was only going to be a hiccup in the grand scheme of things. I’m blessed and so grateful to have such an amazing support team and so many people loving me through this journey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYNOXRifXKQ

http://www.military.com/daily-news/2015/02/25/military-divorce-rate-hits-lowest-level-in-10-years.html

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/07/21/sick.couples.o/